Thankful for a sunburn.
So yesterday I didn’t reapply sunscreen. I fell asleep on the beach, and my back got scorched.
Seriously it hurts to sit back in a chair.
For some reason I am thankful.
I am thankful because it forced me to be completely still (that is the only way it doesn’t hurt).
It forced me to take a break even from vacation and constant going that has been my life all semester to just be still.
It forced me to sit down and process a little bit of my semester with the Lord.
This was what I needed. I needed a moment to realize that my heart is in a broken state. A broken state from not just one thing but many different occurrences from this past semester. A broken state from not allowing Jesus in during the hard times.
I needed a moment to realize that Jesus is the only one that can provide healing.
I needed a moment to see that I have been using material or temporary things as a “bandaid” for my broken heart—this has provided some instant relief but the brokenness was still there.
I needed a moment to be reminded that every good thing in me is Jesus.
I needed a moment to be reminded of this constant lesson of TRUST that God is constantly calling me to.
A few weeks ago Matt Orth talked about the sunscreen lessons. The lessons that seem pretty simple but you have to be reminded of them every once in a while so that you don’t get “burned.”
Sometimes, a lot like my fiasco with the sunscreen yesterday, I forget to “reapply” the truth of God into my life. I try to do it on my own. I think I’ll be okay just for right now.
But God calls us to an action daily. Daily surrender. Daily trust. Daily stillness. Daily recognition that He is still good & He is working in a way that is immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine. It isn’t a one time kind of thing but a constant pursuit and recognition of the sovereignty of God.
My heart is broken.
It’s not gonna be fixed today.
But I’m hopeful that God is going to provide the healing it needs. Not in my timing. But His. Not in my way. But His.
Praise the Lord for the sunburn.
It pushed me to think. It pushed me to reflect. It pushed me to think about the goodness of God in my current state.
And it even let me rest and watch a few episodes of Friends.